Thursday, August 16, 2007

Fawlty Towers

And you thought that the saga of the wedding was over, well here’s a strange little postscript.

About a year ago, when my friend the bride-to-be first announced her impending nuptials I decided to look into booking myself into a guest house for the night of the wedding as the journey back home takes a good 1 ½ - 2 hours. I called round a number of B&Bs and eventually settled on one which sounded nice and reasonably priced. I asked if they had any beds free for that night, they said that they had and sent me a brochure on the establishment. I left the situation to marinade but it would appear that it became a festering sore. Because I had been made redundant and had got the offer of a lift there and back I decided not to go ahead and book a room. I thought nothing more of the matter. Nothing more of the matter, that is, until I received a tersely worded letter from that establishment in tones of high moral umbridge.

It appears that they had assumed that I had booked a room, had waited up for me until 11.00pm (oh the horror!) and were now demanding that I pay for the room which I had booked but not had the decency to spend the night in.

I called the lady in question to see if I could explain my side of the story (ie I had no idea that I had booked a room) and see if I could dissipate her umbridge. It appears that umbridge dissipation is not my forte and she was as immovable as ever.

I then did something which proves that I am advancing in years. I wrote a strongly worded letter.

Having first checked the literature which she had sent on her B&B I stated that it clearly says that a deposit is required when booking and that the room will be held for 5 days to allow said deposit to reach their fine establishment.

As they had not heard from me in almost a year and no deposit had been received from me I felt that it was a reasonable assumption to make on their part that I had not in effect booked a room and was no longer interested in doing so.

Furthermore in our telephone call she stated that she only had a postal address for me and appeared quite put out that I had not provided her with a telephone number and an e mail address. I would imagine that the mere fact that I had not provided her with this information would again tend to indicate that I was not interested in booking a room. In the light of her attitude I am very glad that I did not give her any more contact details than were absolutely necessary. To be honest I am now regretting ever giving her my home address.

In an attempt to sweeten the bitter pill I was delivering I did state how much I regretted our “misunderstanding” but felt that in the circumstances it would be entirely inappropriate of me to send her a cheque. This especially in the light of her own literature which would tend to make real the assumption that I had in fact not booked anything.

And that is what I did with my umbridge. The letter is now sent – second class post of course as I’m not spending good first class money on this one. It will be interesting to hear what she says. Will she bring down on my the full weight of her lawyers, or will she just invoke fire flood and pestilence on my wicked soul? Who knows. Over the next few days we may surely find out.

12 comments:

Valentine Suicide said...

Doesn't look like you entered into any sort of contract Gwen, so no need worry about lawyers. You also have documented evidence of their booking process, to which you did not adhere. I'd be inclined to tell them to 'blow it out their ass'.

If you like I can have them shot into space?

Gwen said...

Ooh could you do that VS. That sounds like an excellent idea.

I have kept tight hold of their documentation so hopefully they will not have any comeback.

auntiegwen said...

Good girl yourself.

Please join me tomorrow night , BBC2 10 pm for Grumpy Old Women, you'll get loads of tips

auntiegwen x

Kolley Kibber said...

Turn up at her B&B at 11pm tomorrow night, demanding a room. If she says she's full, remind her that as she obviously prefers the telepathic booking method, you thought of her this morning and this therfore constitutes a booking.

If she still won't give you a bed, raid her kitchen and nick all her sausages.

Squirmy Popple said...

It's absolutely ludicrous for that woman to think that you'd booked a room there. Hopefully she reads the letter and sees the error of her ways.

Gari said...

She sounds very much like a landlady I had the misfortune to stay with in a B&B in Ayr a couple of years ago. I'll bet she has her toilet rolls covered by a skanky doll in a crocheted (spelling?) dress.
Maybe she's lonely. Befriend her. Send her chocolates, poetry and songs by Janis Ian. Either you'll have made a new friend for life, or she'll be so terrified she'll never contact you again.

Gwen said...

Hi Auntie Gwen

I will certainly join you in watching Grumpy Old Women tonight and I look forward to getting loads of tips. To show my committment to the GOW cause I even have one of the books!

Now there's an good idea ISBW, expecially the sausage bit. Mmm yum.

I hope she does Katie. I very much hope that the letter will be the end of the matter.

Now Gari that does sound like a good idea. I think I'll just head out to the shops now for some chocolates...........

bethnoir said...

The woman is obviously mad, I think your letter sound quite appropriate. I recently advised my Mum to write a stiff letter to a bank which had given her bad service. Oh dear, does this make me a grumpy old woman...I fear it does! Keep us updated, won't you?

Unknown said...

She obviously has trouble finding people to use her establishment!! Confusing an enquiry with a booking? ... smacks of desperation to me!! Good luck anyway. Look forward to hearing the outcome!

Only hope her reading skills are better than her listening ones!

Gwen said...

Thanks Funky Munky I did think that it was a bit desperate too to be honest.

Anonymous said...

Hi,
So did you get a response? In case you are interested, in order for a contract to be made there must be "offer", "acceptance" and "exchange". Had you made a formal booking and sent a deposit then a contract would have been in place. The brochure and price constituted an 'offer' but there was no acceptance and certainly no exchange from your part.
So, from a legal standpoint it would appear she is a miserable old cow and best avoided.

Gwen said...

Hi Anonymous.

I haven't heard anything but thanks a lot for your advice. If she gets back to me I will tell her exactly what you said - including the bit about the miserable old cow! Thanks a lot.