Same Jeans

You'll have heard Same Jeans by The View. Even Sarah Kennedy on Radio 2 has played it but I'm afraid that, for me, it is an excruciating listen. Let's consider the lyrics and the mental images they conjure up.

"I've had the same jeans on

For four days now"

Immediately in the first line we are faced with the vision of some manky adolescent who hasn't changed his jeans (and quite probably any other of his clothes - including underwear) or washed (we can assume) in four days. What must the smell be like? It must be hideous. Added to that is that fact that he may well have been in sweaty clubs for a fair proportion of those four days and the sweat quotient increases to (I would say) an almost unbearable degree. The jeans are also I would imagine stained with the kind of stains which lovingly recall student days - beer, tomato ketchup, cigarettes, etc etc.

So, having had these disgusting jeans on for four days you might think that he would now maybe do the decent thing and peel them off and throw then in the nearest bin (or burn them perhaps) but No!!! What's the next line?

"I'm gonna go to a disco

In the middle of town"

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

You Manky Idiot!

You are already stinking to high heaven and you think that being near other people in a sweaty environment is a good thing? Surely they won't let you past the door?

This disco is in the middle of town you say? They will smell you when you are at the edge of the town on your way in.

OK - Assuming he's by some miracle got into the disco he then starts on a bit of philosophy (I think)

"Life's one big circle

and it doesn't end

When it ends

Will you still be my friend"

Well make up your mind as to whether you think life ends or not then!! The life of your jeans needs to end soon enough.

And "Will you still be my friend"

Well I reckon that his serious hygiene problems would seriously curtail his chances of even making friends never mind keeping them.

Maybe he has considered that this is a possibility as the next line states

"I'm not making a fool of myself

Oh tell me

I'm not making a fool of myself"

Well, actually mate, you are making a huge big hairy fool of yourself.

One more choice line to share

"Life's just made your head spin around"

No - Actually that'll be the stink coming from you that's made your head spin!!

I've really only one more comment to make

GET SOME SOAP AND HAVE A WASH!!