Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Kids These Days

Hooray – I’ve made it through to the second day of my new job. I think that there was relief all round when I turned up this morning after yesterday’s run through of all the numerous tasks that had been allocated to little old me.

Yesterday on the way home from work on the train I encountered one of those horrors of children, recalcitrant and cruelly joined to an ineffectual mother. The child could possibly have been quite cute in a pleasanter alternative reality but his screwed up childish pout put paid to any notion of that. Said child had one of the biggest helium balloons I had ever seen tied onto his wrist which was battering into everyone within the radius of half the carriage. Mother, as you’ve probably already guessed, did absolutely nothing. Our balloon misery experience was intensified by an open window which gave the balloons trajectory more force as it thwacked into faces and rendered the reading of newspapers impossible. Grown men grew apoplectic with rage but, as is the British way, said nothing. At one point the boy whined that he wanted the balloon untied from his wrist, and when Mother said no in a rare moment of activity, he then proceeded to wave the balloon about even more maniacally. Everyone in the carriage was giving the boy and the mother dirty looks but she appeared to be oblivious and continued to do absolutely nothing as the balloon whipped into the faces of all the nearby passengers with gay abandon. The mother did say something about cutting it off his wrist when they got home. I was very tempted to find a pair of scissors and not only cut the thing off his wrist but also to burst his blessed balloon there and then. That would have shown them both.

When ah were a lass I wouldn’t have been allowed a helium balloon, never mind been allowed to take it on a train. Come to think about it, it is very possible that when ah were a lass they hadn’t yet been invented. Ooh, in my day it were a crust of bread before bed if you were lucky. Kids these days eh!

13 comments:

The Good Woman said...

Well done on the job! How old was the bundle of joy? Should we call Jo Forst before another ASBO is born?

Unknown said...

I've had several jobs in the past where even I wasn't sure at the end of the first day if I'd be back for the second, so well done! Hope you enjoy it!

That child sounds awful! As does his mother! Sadly, there are a lot like them around these days!

muddyboots said...

congrats on 2nd day. we get loads of brats in...some parents though are worse than kids. general malaise amongst some with regards to what IS acceptable.

Jon Peake said...

I never remember seeing helium balloons as a child, much as I always wanted one. Like the one Winnie had in Chigley.

Gwen said...

Thanks Good Woman. I'd say that the "treasure" was about 3 or 4 years old. I think that calling in Jo would be an excellent idea. I'm sure she would be able to sort that child out.

I've now made it through to the end of the third day Funky Munky and although the future responsibilities seem much greater than my previous job I am looking forward to the challenge (I think). Too many kids are just like that one these days.

Thanks Muddy Boots. To be honest in some ways that mother was worse than the child due to her unbeleivable apathy. That's why he would have thought that his behaviour was acceptable. I feel a bit like Jo Frost saying that.

That's the thing Five Centres, I too don't remember helium balloons when I was young. I'm not sure when they started becoming popular. I don't think that my mum would have alllowed me one anyway even if they did exist when I was little.

Squirmy Popple said...

I love that no one said anything - that's so very, very British. If that happened in America, you can bet the passengers would have started a fight with the mother.

Gwen said...

Definitely Katie. We need to be a bit more assertive don't we?

Kolley Kibber said...

On such occasions, swift and dextrous use of a Lady's hatpin may bring about a most satisfactory and abrupt conclusion for all. Except the kid, who, frankly, has already had HIS fun and needs a quick lesson in the harsher realities of life.

Anonymous said...

The first few days or week are always hard in a new job, trying to find your feet and fit in, weighing everybody up, wondering who to avoid and who might be worth a second glance.

Hope you don't have repeats of the helium balloons and snotty kids. Perhaps you ought to carry a pair of scissors with you just in case.

Crystal xx

Valentine Suicide said...

4 days now G. Have you been promoted yet?

Gwen said...

I love the hatpin idea ISBW. I will at once repair to a lady's hat shop to purchase said item for any similar ocurrences. A lesson on the harsh realities of life does no one any harm.

Hi Crystal. Yes I am most certainly at that stage of the game. Of course I hardly know their names yet never mond who to avoid. But I'm sure all that is waiting for me over the next couple of weeks.

Not quite yet Valentine, but of course there is still next week.

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Gwen, I truly sympathise....our Sunday lunch today was spoiled by Five Year Old Child From Hell who insisted on peering at us VERY CLOSELY with her chin on our table and her elbows damn near in David's plate of Roast Beef before she headed off to do similar to everyone else in the pub. It goes without saying that Mother and Father were enjoying a child free lunch while the rest of the diners were considering jabbing Child with our forks.

Mother did call out "Jemima?" once during the hour and half we were there but when Jemima didn't answer (she was climbing onto a bar stool at the time) Mother went back to her Yorkshires.

Gwen said...

That's just terrible and what a shame for you with your Sunday Lunch spoiled. She sounds completely spoiled and precocious. Her parents really should have taken more responsibility for her. I hope you don't encounter her again.